Blame PINTEREST

Lately I have had a bad case of the 'I WANT's!  I will blame pinterest for this (don't worry I still love pinning).  There are so many fabulous homes, beautiful people, handy gadgets and just plain awesome stuff that I can't help but want it.  I feel like it is making me into this horrible selfish person that only thinks about herself and what she wants from others.  Was I always like this?  Okay, maybe I was and I am just finally realizing it (hopefully this is where Ian comments 'no you are so selfless honey')?

Two years ago I had my first child.  Prior to that I knew nothing (minus our 2 yrs of marriage) of sacrificing for others.  Since my first daughter was born I have HAD to sacrifice everything.  My job, body, sleep, time, sanity.  There is never any time for me so it has forced me into acting selfLESS.  Now with 2 daughters (aka - more demands on my time) I feel about to explode with selfISHness.  I want everything for me, ANYTHING for me, and I feel horrible thinking that way.  I have been so demanding... expecting more than I should be.

I am VERY grateful for what I have.  We are far better off than I expected to be in our first 5 years of marriage (thank goodness for not having to scrape by while getting through school - benefits to marrying at an older age I guess). AND I feel truly blessed to have 2 beautiful, healthy daughters.  Don't ever think I'm not grateful for them.

I just want to let you all know that I am not really selfish.  I just talk selfish because that is all I have right now... talk.  So I pin away my days wishing and dreaming that I have more than I do because 98% of my time, effort and talents are dedicated to my husband and young daughters.

Can I just have 24 hours away without cleaning, cooking, tantrums and nursing?  Perhaps after Christmas when I plan to wean my baby.

What would I do with 24 whole hours to myself?  That will be a post for tomorrow perhaps!