Almost half-way

I'll be 18 weeks on Sunday and it is quite a relief to know that I am almost half-way through this pregnancy. I am hoping the second half is far better than the first cause these last 2 months (Jan/Feb) were just torture. I was just beginning to enjoy being pregnant when new symptoms came along, mainly the disrupted sleep due to frequent eating/peeing, the food that is coming back up a little too easily when I lie down, the headaches (which haven't been too frequent yet but I am keeping an eye on it), the continued digestion issues, the skin which I am beginning to feel get quite tight and the feeling of exploding from the inside. Not to be the complaining one as I am ever so grateful that we have been blessed with this child in the first place. It just goes to show how desperately bored I am with nothing else to occupy my thoughts.

I have developed a sudden need to move into a house right away and am going stir crazy in this apartment (I haven't had any sub calls this week and NEED to get out of the house more). It seems I always have an excuse not to do things.... Hopefully that will change though as I have applied for another teaching position that starts in April till the end of the school year. This should be sufficiently distracting and give me something else to talk about besides feeling yucky.

We find out in 10 days the gender of our baby and though I am confident it is a boy it will still be a surprise! Ah, I'm so excited. I had a dream the other night though that I had a girl and I was really ticked off.... rest assured I would be very excited if it was a girl too. P.S. I can't believe the crazy dreams I have been having! Still haven't felt little Bean move yet but I am 'listening' for when that will happen.

Anywho... nothing else to talk about I guess. I think I will have some ice cream and a nap... though I should really visit the gym before the rest of my body tries to catch up to my stomach!

Waiting...

Summer has ended and I find myself still waiting.... waiting for something to keep my days busy and not so self centered. It is wonderful to sleep in everyday as long as I like and do what I want at any time but it isn't very fulfilling. I had my two months off from teaching during the summer, which was somewhat busy, with a move to a new city and a trip to Switzerland, but I am still amazed with how much time I spent doing 'nothing' (at least nothing useful eg. tv, internet, reading). Looking back there is so much I could have done and accomplished during that wasted time but I was severely lacking the motivation. It is hard to go out and make new friends, find new jobs and to develop talents and serve.

I have been blessed in the, almost 3 months I have lived here, with good friends, a comfortable home, a quiet city and a happy husband. It is fairly close to my family and far enough away from the craziness of traffic and year-round construction.

Since school started in September I have been really missing the feeling of 'helping others' that was so prevalent as a teacher. I miss knowing that I was an important part of a group and that I had an impact, perhaps forever, on the lives of so many. Not knowing what was awaiting us here in Lloydminster we had decided that I would just substitute for the school year. I have been hired but put off the paper work I should have done during the summer, that would allow me to teach in a Saskatchewan school district. So I find myself waiting for the document to come in the mail that will finally let me work and take my mind off the nothingness that seems to be my life at the moment.

Don't pity me though as I have been mostly happy here and like the smaller city life. I have just been focused on me for too long. I am excited for the recent call I have to be the Young Women's President here in the Lloyd branch and hope that serving these wonderful girls will put some fire back into me. I am just sooooooo ready for change and hope that me, myself and I can leave my thoughts for awhile.

Thanks to all you friends and family who have kept in touch, gotten to know me, sent me messages, phone calls and love and support since we left Calgary and came to Lloydminster.