Back to blogging?

I'd like to start off and make a commitment to get back to blogging again :)  I discontinued writing in a journal early in marriage in exchange for blogging but the past 2 yrs I haven't done much of either.  I feel it is SO important to have some history of my life and my family so I should be back here again on a more regular basis (notice I'm not giving specific #'s ;).


(we don't know if it is a girl but I only have girly things :)

My last post, and now my Blog name reflects our most recent news of baby # 3 on the way.  I'm struggling now to be excited about this planned decision but the nausea has a way of making me very cranky!  I'm just about past the first trimester and am hopeful the rest of the year will be smooth sailing :)

I'm looking forward to a summer of fun outside at the playground, splash park and chillin' in our new backyard.  I'm super thrilled to be traveling to Switzerland to spend a few weeks with my sisters family :)

2 weeks from now will mark 1 YEAR in our new home!!!!  I won't post pictures because it still looks like we just moved in ;)  I have yet to decorate our walls but the plan is to spend this year making some big changes (which is why I didn't decorate in the past year).  I will blog the process along the way.

For now I am feeling optimistic about enjoying a summer with my girls and no job; for preparing my first baby to enter kindergarten in the fall and then all the fun of getting ready for a new baby that I hope will come before 2015.

Hailey's soccer team with Coach Daddy :)

For 5 weeks:

~I have been so ill

~I have been reminding myself to never do this again

~my wonderful husband has been taking care of everything

~it has been raining

~my children have been fighting....

It's time for health, sunshine and carefree fun days :). I'm counting on it. 

Back home!

We went out today!  It's a miracle :) Hailey has no preschool this week cause of spring break and I am so close to being finished work I can almost taste it. I am excited but also afraid of being instantly bored out of my mind. 

I need to make a schedule and get something planned to keep us all sane and happy... This might be harder than I hoped!

Did I Make That?

Are you following my crafty blog?  You might enjoy it.

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Peek a boo!

Where have you been?  I have been hiding forever waiting for you to come find me ;)

I haven't been around much the past year and a half since I went back to work.  It wasn't because I didn't want to.  Things were just TOO busy!  Sigh.  I often planned to write a post but they just didn't happen.

I have learned some things as a working mother. 

I love having an office
I love having regular adult conversations
I feel appreciated and valued at my job
My tasks can actually be completed and checked off my list
I appreciate that going to work gets me up in the morning and dressed by 8am
I feel more active and energetic when I work
I love my time away from my children.  They get to socialize and learn from other children and I get to build up my level of patience for when I return.

I don't like that all of my 'fun' time is now taken up with working. 
I don't have time anymore for playdates with friends. 
I don't have time to craft and be creative and I don't have time to do activities with/teach my children.

My days all seem to be getting ready and dropping the kids off at different places, picking them up, running important errands (like groceries) and cooking/cleaning.  There is no fun time.

I had a difficult time being home for 3 years straight with two very young and demanding children.  I was screaming inside to get away from them.  I often wished I had never had children and felt cheated by all the stay at homes mom's I knew (prior to getting married) that made it look so enjoyable and rewarding.  I felt like no one was honest about how difficult and constant, exhausting and smothering it was to be a 'full-time mother'.  My life was spent in forced selflessness and my heart screamed to be selfish.

I had never planned to be a working mother.  As I child I admitted very early on that all I wanted to do was be a mom.  I was so excited to stay home and play with my children.  To teach them and create montessori type learning experiences.  After I graduated from high school I went into Early Childhood Development with the same plan in mind.  I graduated but did not like being in daycares.  I thought they were sad.  It broke my heart to see so many children in one room without their mothers.  I still planned to stay at home.  I continued on into Education, graduated with a degree, met Ian and married the next year.  Two years later we had our first daughter.  My plans were still unchanged and I did stay home and I HATED it!  I felt so trapped, overwhelmed and smothered.  I felt like I was suffocating.

Do other mothers feel this way?  Do they hate staying home with their children? 

Perhaps it was because I already had a career and was working as a Teacher; or because I was almost 27 when my daughter was born and I was 'used to' a different life; or perhaps it was just anxiety.  I don't even know if the reason matters BUT

My girls are older now (4 and 2.5).  They are less demanding and more independant.  I don't often feel overwhelmed anymore.  I am missing our 'together time' and working is 'getting old'.  I have been feeling since June that I want to stay home again.  We want to add to our family but I am worried I will feel the same way as I did before I went back to work.  I don't want to hate being home.  I don't want to resent my children.   I don't want to sit around in my pj's for half the day wishing I was somewhere else.  I want to experience life through their eyes.

It will be hard to say goodbye to my job :(

Why am I so torn???????

First stitches

Well it was going to happen sometime I guess!

Quinn had a nice fall on a sharp coffee table corner Friday morning at our friends house. It went through her lip and bled like crazy. She was freaking mad and I was barely keeping it together as my friend helped get us into the van. I called Ian from work as I knew I couldn't drive and hold a bleeding 2 yr. old. He met us and we sped off to the hospital while Quinn thrashed and screamed and slapped me across the face numerous times. I BAWLED!

We went into the ambulance bay as we thought she would need/get immediate attention. We were mistaken. They sent us to the waiting room with a bloody child and her lip hanging open. 

We waited more than 6 hrs to get in. 

I took Hailey to a friends house within the first couple hours so she didn't have to wait too. 

They took us in to the suture room where they then sent us to do X-rays of Quinn's chest (she had a cold) before they would stitch her up. This was another awful ordeal. If you have seen the contraption they use to get toddler X-rays you know it wasn't pleasant. 

We went back to the suture room waiting at least another 30 min when they did her IV (she was pretty brave), attached her to monitors (her heart rate monitor went off every time a nurse/dr came in) and then sedated her. She really fought the sedation and they kept giving her more. The dr started numbing her lip before she was out with a needle. Poor kid kept pulling away and cried out. He could have waited 30 more seconds. Then Quinn was snoring and they stitched her up. 4 stitches on the inside and 6 on the outside. She was coming out of sedation before they were even finished. She was sitting up in a few minutes and back to normal within 10 minutes. 

It was over 7 hrs when we walked out of there. Congrats Alberta Healthcare on another ER FAIL. I would have opted for private healthcare today!

Quinn has been acting pretty normal and had a great sleep last night.

 We are so grateful for all those who helped out and sent their love and support. It was our first 'big' injury and we all survived it. I sure hope it doesn't happen again soon. That was too stressful for me!

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