sigh...

uhg, traveling and illness and teething... not a great week.  I need a holiday w/o kids.

Not cut out for this job

2 is hard.... especially when I have a VERY high maintenance toddler.  I never get enough sleep and it affects every aspect of my life.  I am a mean, mean, MEAN mommy when I am tired and cranky (which, right now, is all the time).

I have always needed a lot of sleep.  In high school I always went to bed early because I needed to sleep 10 hrs to feel rested.  I still need 9 hrs for it to be a 'great' nights sleep.  I could manage with 7 straight for an 'okay' nights sleep but that is not even close to what is happening.  I get maybe 3-4 hrs without interuption and am usually up for an hour during one wakeup to feed Quinn.  Last night I was woken up probably every 45 min to an hour.

I am trying very hard to be grateful for my girls, but in all honesty, I don't like them right now.  I always loved babies growing up and thought I would work in daycare and get married at 18 and have 6 of my own kids. Turns out babies are not my specialty.  I can't wait till the girls are more independent (and for crying out loud) will sleep all night without waking me up.

Somehow I need to survive these brutal years of sleep deprivation (which, if you didn't know, is used as a form of torture!)

Heaven help me be grateful for my girls, and more patient and loving..... and please, please, PLEASE teach Hailey to deal with her emotions before I lose my mind.

Someone had a birthday!

our baby girl hailey is now 2 years old!  I am amazed at how much my life has changed in these last two years (and how little sleep I still continue to get).



We had a small birthday gathering with our friends which ended up being a little overwhelming for hailey.  Maybe next year it will just be us as she doesn't handle crowds well.  I am more surprised every month at how sensitive she is to everything, especially loud noises.

At 2 hailey is:

• talking up a storm (really she never stops)
• knows her numbers in order from 1-10
• LOVES books
• LOVES movies more (Toy Story, Tangled, Rio)
• hates all bugs and freaks out when around them (might have gotten this from me)
• is crazy obsessive compulsive - really - it is scary.
• is very cautious and concerned for everyone
• is usually very polite
• has regular crazy tantrums (hello terrible twos)
• no longer goes to bed easily
• still often wakes up at night
• can use an ipod touch like a pro
• is 28 lbs
• just got her first real haircut
• is a loving big sister (but can't wait till Quinn can play with her)
• LOVES to help daddy build and fix things - is wicked good with a hammer
• is extremely emotional (the hardest thing for me to deal with)

We love her very much and look forward to the day when she doesn't cry more than 20 times in one day (not sure this will ever happen).

Happy (belated) Birthday Hailey!

24 hours to yourself!

What would you do with 24 hours all to yourself, with NO responsibilities?

I would likely read a whole book and have the BEST sleep of my entire life!!!!!

or

go shopping alone, see a movie, have a jaquzzi bath, go out to eat, craft, sit and listen to the silence, drive around listening to really loud music, visit a spa, watch all the movies I've missed in the last 2 yrs, ect...

I would pretty much be as idle, lazy and frivolous as I could!

maybe someday :)

How about you?

Blame PINTEREST

Lately I have had a bad case of the 'I WANT's!  I will blame pinterest for this (don't worry I still love pinning).  There are so many fabulous homes, beautiful people, handy gadgets and just plain awesome stuff that I can't help but want it.  I feel like it is making me into this horrible selfish person that only thinks about herself and what she wants from others.  Was I always like this?  Okay, maybe I was and I am just finally realizing it (hopefully this is where Ian comments 'no you are so selfless honey')?

Two years ago I had my first child.  Prior to that I knew nothing (minus our 2 yrs of marriage) of sacrificing for others.  Since my first daughter was born I have HAD to sacrifice everything.  My job, body, sleep, time, sanity.  There is never any time for me so it has forced me into acting selfLESS.  Now with 2 daughters (aka - more demands on my time) I feel about to explode with selfISHness.  I want everything for me, ANYTHING for me, and I feel horrible thinking that way.  I have been so demanding... expecting more than I should be.

I am VERY grateful for what I have.  We are far better off than I expected to be in our first 5 years of marriage (thank goodness for not having to scrape by while getting through school - benefits to marrying at an older age I guess). AND I feel truly blessed to have 2 beautiful, healthy daughters.  Don't ever think I'm not grateful for them.

I just want to let you all know that I am not really selfish.  I just talk selfish because that is all I have right now... talk.  So I pin away my days wishing and dreaming that I have more than I do because 98% of my time, effort and talents are dedicated to my husband and young daughters.

Can I just have 24 hours away without cleaning, cooking, tantrums and nursing?  Perhaps after Christmas when I plan to wean my baby.

What would I do with 24 whole hours to myself?  That will be a post for tomorrow perhaps!

David and Christy's Wedding

My little brother got married our last weekend in Edmonton.  It was so wonderful to have all (minus my sister serving a mission) of our family together.  I felt a little sad as I was so busy dealing with my 2 handfuls (aka - children) that I was very distracted and feel that I missed out.  It was so sweet though to see my new sister-in-law walking into the chapel to meet her soon-to-be husband, my brother.  

It was a sweet moment as Hailey yelled out 'DAVID' when he walked into the chapel and again yelled out as Christy put on David's ring "YOU DID IT".  It was what we were all thinking :)

I feel so lucky to have Christy as part of our family and I feel so thrilled that my brother has such a wonderful woman by his side.  I know he was never my 'responsibility' but I always felt, just a little bit, that I needed to take care of him and make sure he was okay.  Now I feel 'at ease' knowing Christy will do a better job of that than I ever could.  Welcome to the family!

most of the pictures are of the girls - I left the couple/group shots to the real photographer

 with uncle David

 my sisters family

 imagine trying to get these 3 girls to stay together and still for one picture

Liora thought her boquet was pretty smelly :)

"dancing with Papa"

 fabulous decorations

classic shoe game

our family of four (crazy)

our little Quinn

Me and my girls :)

More Cousin Fun

My sister's family came out to Lloyd for one of the weekends they were visiting.  It was crazy to transport everything back and forth for just a couple days but it was special to have them come to our home.  We are missing them very much now :(